Love in the Time of Coronavirus, Pt. 2
March 31st, 2020
Now is not the time to feel any shame over what makes you feel good.
We spend a lot of time minimizing or denying what we enjoy because we are too attached to labels or those identities that we think will garner more outside approval.
But if this time is teaching us anything, it's that living life to the fullest is about loving our whole selves.
That means not holding back with others and for ourselves.
Remember: there are no "guilty" pleasures. There's just pleasure.
So why not do whatever feels good?
Starting from that place will remind you that pleasure is vital and can be found in almost anything you choose. It is what will keep you sane, kind, generous, productive, forgiving, and compassionate.
It will free you from conflict and help you let go of the inconsequential.
It will remind you of who you are when no one is looking--and that you genuinely, deeply, dig that version of yourself.
That's the version of you that will shine, that will have good feelings to share with family, friends, members of your community, and wider.
No more hiding. Your home's your stage right now, so make the most of it.
Be your whole self.
April 1st, 2020
It's okay if you didn't get to everything on your to-do list today.
It's okay if you didn't do any work today.
It's okay if you didn't cook today.
It's okay if you ate too much junk food today.
It's okay if you didn't exercise today.
It's okay if you were a couch potato today.
It's okay if you got irritated and frustrated with the people you love today.
It's okay if you said cruel words to yourself today.
It's okay if you were angry today.
It's okay if you cried today.
It's okay if you felt scared today.
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
There's no rush.
There's no prize for resisting the best you could manage today.
Take your time.
Find your way.
Do your best.
April 2nd, 2020
Whilst you're isolating with the creature comforts at home, conflict is inevitable.
With spouses and partners and parents and siblings and friends and roommates.
It's natural that home may suddenly feel very small and that your patience is wearing thin.
This is true both if you share your home or digital home with others.
Verbal fireworks may ensue. Words may be exchanged.
When--not if--you find yourself in this position, try asking yourself the hardest question you can possibly ask yourself:
What is the most loving thing I can say now?
You may find yourself rolling your eyes and laughing at how cheesy the question seems. And that's enough to disarm any tension.
Or you may find yourself taking a deep breath, pausing, and finding a way to resolve conflict without too many hurt feelings.
Your most loving response is the ultimate act of compassion in these times when we're absorbing so much collective anxiety and feeling unsure of how to channel it.
Channel it by remembering the good in the other person. You'll never regret doing that.
April 6th, 2020
Sometimes you just need to take a break.
You just need to step away to take care of life...or to just live your life.
And there is absolutely no shame in that.
You don't actually need a reason to take a break and, frankly, your reasons are your own business.
Taking a break doesn't meant that you're flaky, lazy, or not dependable.
It means the opposite: that you know how to honor your priorities and limits. You know what you need and you know that taking care of your needs fortifies you.
You may think that taking a break is akin to letting everyone down and that's a bold-faced lie.
Your worthiness doesn't depend on your ability to please everyone and make them happy.
Your worthiness is completely determined by how you treat yourself and how you choose to take care of yourself.
So take as many breaks as you need without too much indecision or drama--you may actually find that doing so helps you feel more capable than not.
April 7th, 2020
These days we spend in distance and isolation from one another highlights just how important the look and feel of home is.
Home is where the heart is. It is sanctuary, where we can exhale deeply and sink deeper into ourselves and the people and things we love.
But these days, home is safe harbor just as much as it is a gilded cage.
To create more comfort for yourself, there's never been a better time to look at the four walls you live within and make it your own.
Go minimalist or maximalist.
Declutter to your heart's content.
Ruthlessly edit what you don't want or doesn't serve you.
Create the conditions that support the different sides of you: the working you, the resting you, the organized you, the pleasure-seeking you.
It isn't frivolous to want more of your home, especially these days.
So do what you can to make where you are feel good.
The kind of good that no matter what's going on in the outside world, you feel safe, strong, and taken care of.
April 8th, 2020
Without a doubt, these are extraordinary times.
And at such times, it's too easy to lose yourself. So many of the things that offer structure, routine, and purpose in your life are now on hold and can even seem insignificant compared to the lessons each day offers us.
Lessons in gratitude and never taking the essential for granted. Lessons in learning how to slow down and do things at your pace. Lessons in solitude and connection.
These are precious lessons, but it's important to remember that they are meant to help you feel at home in yourself even through the strangest of circumstances.
The trick to finding yourself once again--those parts of yourself that support who you want to be--is to get back to the basics. Start with a small something.
When you feel good and present, what do you most enjoy doing?
Do that.
Finding yourself doesn't have to be this long drawn-out quest.
You will find yourself in the simple moments and pleasures that remind you of who you are.
April 9th, 2020
There is a quote making the rounds on Instagram that basically says that when this time of distance and isolation is over, we need to remember that we turned to artists--the creators of books, films, TV shows, music, video games, and more--to distract and delight us when we were at our most bored, anxious, or scared.
Art makes us feel seen and heard in ways that can completely take our breath away.
It can also inspire the creator within and ignite a spark.
There has never been a more convenient time to let that spark grow warm and bright.
Whether you write or draw or paint or knit or coach or cook or clean or organize or what-have-you, you are an an artist.
You are a creator.
And that unique power means that you can create the conditions that delight you every single day.
There's no time like the present to get started.
April 10th, 2020
Because we are absorbing the anxiety and uncertainty released into the world, you may be finding it difficult to get motivated to do whatever it is you need or want to do.
The challenge here isn't you; it's your approach.
Motivation isn't something you "get." The reasons why you do something aren't like the gallon of milk you get from the grocery store.
Motivation is something you understand; it's an awareness of your why so that you can continually take steps forward.
The current state of the world has clouded your why, making it difficult for you to hold onto those reasons that inspire you.
That's why--when your motivation is low or playing hide 'n' seek with you--you just need to start with that simple, one-word question: Why?
Remind yourself of your reasons.
They will help you do the laundry just as much as they'll help you meet your an oncoming deadline.
Remind yourself of your why to conjure your motivation.
That way, you won't regret not following through on the things that are important to you.
April 11th, 2020
Call your parents.
Have a FaceTime/Skype date with your BFFs.
Write a love letter to someone you care about.
Use the voice memos app on your phone to record daily gratitude lists.
Take a long, hot shower and slather lotion all over your body, especially those dry hands.
Do your hair and give yourself a mani-pedi.
Take a nap.
Download and listen to a great audiobook, like Stephen Fry reading the first Harry Potter book or Tom Hanks's reading of "The Dutch House."
Curl up with a feel-good book, like anything by Katherine Center.
Catch up on your articles and blog post reading list.
Watch a movie you've been meaning to watch, like "Little Women" and "Knives Out."
Dance to to The Weeknd's chill, relaxing, and fun "After Hours" album.
Watch John Krasinski's smile-inspiring "Some Good News" on YouTube.
Follow good news social media accounts like @tanksgoodnews and @goodnews_movement.
Play nostalgic video games.
Download and play the soothing "I Love Hue" color puzzle game on your phone.
Do the prep and chopping for a few of your favorite recipes while listening to an inspiring podcast, like Brene Brown's "Unlocking Us" or Cheryl Strayed's "Sugar Calling."
Make sweet potato quesadillas (or another one of your tastiest dishes).
Prepare afternoon tea.
Eat dinner on your "fancy" plates.
Enjoy a glass of wine with something sweet, like dark chocolate or a Milano cookie.
Make your bed with clean, warm sheets fresh from the dryer.
Clean all your tech devices, doorknobs, and light switches.
Clean your jewelry.
Put new photos in the frames around your home.
Design a gallery wall.
Order plants.
Do your taxes while listening to a playlist you created.
Organize and plan the next week.
...And the ideas go on.
There are so many things you can do to make this weekend--or any other day--feel meaningfully productive and just that much more special.
This is about you
You can see the next compilation of seven Love Notes next week.
Or you can get them (nearly) every day by subscribing to my newsletter, Sunday Letters.
Either way, I wish you and yours safety, health, and good vibes.
